Before we jump into the content of this book, we’ve gotta be clear that this process won’t work if you’re not being honest with yourself – in terms of where you’re at and where you need to be. But even the most honest of people don’t necessarily know how “healthy” or “unhealthy” they are, because there’s so much to that whole health thing. So we’re gonna help you learn about yourself. Try the following quiz and see how you score. What have you got to lose? It’s not like somebody’s gonna see your score and laugh cause you’re unhealthy. Unless you and your friends have this same book. Then, they might. Or you might get to laugh at them. Either way, it’s cool because laughter is the best medicine. See, you’re already on your first step to healing! Seriously though, knowledge is half the battle. The other half (more like 7/9ths) is putting in the work once you have the knowledge. You gotta start somewhere, start with this quiz!
1. Do you eat fried foods?
a. Less than twice a week.
b. Occasionally, but I’m mindful of it.
c. Pretty regularly.
d. If it ain’t fried, I probably don’t want it.
2. How long would it take you to walk a mile?
a. Less than 10 minutes.
b. Between 10 and 20 minutes.
c. I’d have to take a few breaks, so I’m not sure.
d. Why would I walk a mile?
3. When seated with my legs straight in front, I can bend forward at the waist and reach…
a. Past my toes.
b. Near my toes.
c. My shins.
d. My knees.
4. I can balance on one foot, extend my arms, and stand still…
a. More than 3 minutes.
b. 1 or 2 minutes.
c. About 30 seconds.
d. I’m not even gonna try that and embarrass myself.
5. Do you drink sugary sodas and artificially flavored “juices”?
a. Never. It’s real fruit juice, tea, or water for me.
b. Rarely. I go for days without having any sugary drinks.
c. Sometimes. But I can manage a day without any.
d. Often. It would be hard for me to go without them.
6. Do you exercise?
a. I could be an athlete or a personal trainer (30 to 60 minutes most days)
b. I’m in decent shape, but I’m not ready for the marathon. (About 30 to 45 minutes a few times per week)
c. I can help you move out of your apartment, but not by myself! (About 30 minutes twice a week)
d. Sometimes I have to walk across a big parking lot. (Very little, if ever)
7. Do you eat sweets or candy?
a. What’s a snickerdoodle? (Never)
b. Where’s the snickerdoodles? (Rarely)
c. I need some snickerdoodles. (Sometimes)
d. I am the snickerdoodle. (Often)
8. Do you eat red meat?
b. Not often.
c. At least once or twice a week (or “I eat beef but not pork”)
d. They call me “Swinefeld”
9. Do you have breakfast in the morning?
a. Yes, daily. And it’s usually pretty healthy.
b. Most days. And it’s usually pretty healthy.
c. Most days. But it’s usually not that healthy.
d. Does a cup of coffee count?
10. Do you smoke?
a. No, and I never have.
b. I used to smoke, but I quit.
c. I don’t smoke, but I live with or work around smokers who puff near me.
d. All day. Nicorette ain’t got a patch strong enough for me.
11. When was the last time you had your blood pressure and cholesterol checked?
a. Within the past year.
b. Within the past two years.
c. Several years ago.
d. I can’t remember.
12. How much sleep do you get at night?
a. 6 or 7 hours a night.
b. 8 or more hours a night.
c. Less than 6 hours a night.
d. My sleep patterns are so irregular I couldn’t even tell you.
13. Do you use any “recreational” drugs?
a. Nope. I get high off my success.
b. I might smoke a little weed on occasion, but that’s it.
c. I might do a little bit more than weed.
d. I could be considered a junkie, if you were trying to be mean.
14. How is your dental health?
a. My dentist worships me.
b. I haven’t seen the dentist in a while, but I brush and floss regularly and I don’t have cavities.
c. I don’t brush or floss like I should, and I probably have a few cavities I need to address.
d. I’m probably gonna lose some of these teeth.
15. How much sunlight do you get?
a. If I was white, I’d have an awesome tan.
b. I get at least an hour of sunlight daily.
c. I’m stuck indoors most weekdays, but I try to make up for it by getting some sun on the weekends.
d. I’m practically a vampire. I can remember the last time I spent a while in the sun.
16. How much water do you drink?
a. All I drink is water (More than 64 ounces).
b. 8 glasses a day, like the doctor say (48-64 ounces).
c. I don’t drink as much as I should (16-48 ounces).
d. There are too many other things that taste better (0-16 ounces).
17. How do you deal with illnesses?
a. I know how to cure most things naturally and who to see when I don’t.
b. I consult with a healthcare professional and develop a regimen that will combat the illness.
c. I see a doctor and hope he knows how to fix me.
d. I pop some pills, say a prayer, and hope for the best.
18. What kind of medicines do you take?
a. Mostly herbs, minerals, and whatever else Mother Nature provides.
b. Mostly natural stuff, but I use the synthetic stuff too.
c. Mostly the synthetic chemical stuff, but I’ve been trying natural remedies too.
d. Mostly pills, needles, and whatever else Medicaid provides.
19. Do you have mood swings or rapid emotional changes?
a. No way. That’s crazy as hell.
b. It’s rare, but it happens.
c. More than I’d like to admit.
d. All day. I’m crazy as hell.
20. When is the last time you fasted or did a cleanse?
a. Within the past month.
b. Within the past six months.
c. Within the past year.
d. The only detox I know about is the one you do for a urine test.
21. How often do you get headaches?
b. Sometimes, but I usually know what caused it.
c. Often, and they can get bad.
d. I got one right now, and I’ll probably have another one soon.
22. How often do you eat fresh or steamed vegetables?
a. At every meal
b. At most meals
c. Not often…does rice and peas count?
d. Um…do the tomatoes in ketchup count?
23. When was the last time you had your stuff inspected? (Pap smear, STD test, breast exam, testicular exam, prostate exam)
a. Within the past two years.
b. Three or four years ago.
c. Five or more years ago.
d. I ain’t doin none of that nasty stuff.
24. How often do you treat pains with an over-the-counter pain reliever?
a. I take one once or twice a year, or I used a natural remedy.
b. I use them occasionally.
c. I pop a pain reliever most days.
d. Over the counter? Please. Gimme that Vicodin baby.
25. How much alcohol do you drink?
a. I average one drink or fewer per day.
b. I drink once in a while, but then I’ll often have four or more.
c. I have about two drinks daily.
d. I average more than two drinks a day; at times I can’t remember how much I drank or what I did afterward.
26. What do you eat more of, pastries or fruit?
a. All fruit, no pastries or sweets.
b. More fruit than pastries and sweets.
c. More pastries than fruit.
d. Mostly pastries and sweets, almost no fruit.
27. What’s your waist size?
a. Less than my hips
b. Bout the same as my hips
c. A little more than my hips
d. C’mon son! I’m FAT.
28. Do you have a family history of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or other hereditary illnesses?
a. No parents or grandparents with any problems like that.
b. 1 or 2 of my parents or grandparents have 1 or 2 problems like that.
c. Most of us got something.
d. Everybody’s got something, and some of us got everything. (or “I have no idea”)
29. Which best describes your sexual practices?
30. I’m in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship.
a. I’m not committed to one person; but I always use condoms when I have sex.
b. I’m not committed to one person; and I don’t always use a condom.
c. I get it in, by any means necessary.
31. How do you typically cope with stress?
a. I regularly carve out time to recharge.
b. I vent about my crises to a friend or a family member.
c. I don’t know what to do. Usually I just feel overwhelmed.
d. I depend on alcohol, food or another vice to help me make it through the day.
32. I experience fatigue…
a. Only after a strenuous workout or similar physical activity (ahem).
b. Usually after a long day of work
c. After climbing a set of stairs, taking a long walk, or carrying something heavy
d. Pretty much throughout the day, even when I haven’t done anything
33. I experience back or muscle pain…
c. Pretty often.
d. I stay with some kind of pain.
34. When I stand against the wall…
a. The back of my head, hips, feet, and shoulder blades touch the wall.
b. Only the back of my hips, feet and shoulder blades touch the wall. I have to change my posture for my head to touch the wall.
c. Only the back of my hips and feet touch the wall. I have to change my posture for my shoulder blades to touch the wall.
d. Only the back of my hips touches the wall. I don’t want to talk about it
A: 0 points
Number of As: ____
x 0 = ____
B: 1 point
Number of Bs: ____
x 1 = ____
C: 2 points
Number of Cs: ____
x 2 = ____
D: 3 points
Number of Ds: ____
x 3 = ____
TOTAL SCORE =
Scoring Ranges and Explanation
You’re either insanely healthy or just plain insane. Most people are nowhere near this level of optimum health, so we congratulate you (if you’re telling the truth). If you lied, you may need to skip ahead and go straight to the section on psychological health, because that’s just strange. Assuming that you were being truthful, you’re a living example of the principles in this book. Because of how much information we’ve packed into the following pages, we’re sure you’ll still learn a lot. But you’ll find this text most valuable if you use it as a teaching tool for the people you know who need it more than you.
A great score. You should be proud. You eat healthy, live healthy and probably even think healthy. Sure, there are some things you could work on, but with this book, you’re definitely on the right track to optimum health and a long, satisfying life.
Even with a score in this range, you’re still doing better than most Americans. But if you think about it, that’s not necessarily a high standard to measure yourself against. Perhaps you need to eat more fruits and vegetables and less junk. Perhaps you should be exercising more and spend less time indoors. Perhaps you should go see a doctor or a dentist soon. Whatever the case, you have plenty of room for improvement, and this book will make sure you cover it all.
Don’t be offended at being called “unhealthy.” We’re just being real with you. You knew you weren’t too healthy when you took this quiz, so don’t be mad at us for telling you what you already know. The question now is ‘What am I going to do about it?’ You can either continue on the downward spiral of unhealthy living, cut several years off your life, and finally end up dead before your time or sick and miserable in your old age…OR you can get on the upward spiral to better living. It’s your choice. You have family members who chose not to address their health until it was too late. You’ve seen what happens. It’s going to be some work, but this book will guide you through many of those changes, showing you both the big steps and the baby steps you can take. Aren’t you tired of feeling the way you do? Make a decision. Your bad habits can still be changed!
You’ve got a LOT of unhealthy habits. You know you do. You’ve been treating your body like a rental car you don’t plan on returning. But it’s all gonna get billed to you in the end. You pay for all those habits, one day, some way. And it’s never pretty. In your present condition, you’re probably already sick. You may have diabetes, cancer, arthritis, heart disease…who knows? You may not even know what you have. But unless you’re going to kill yourself now, you should consider this
Seriously? How do you even get a score in this range? I know crackheads who would score higher. Either you were trying to be funny when you took this quiz, or you’re an unhealthy crackhead. You can’t even get 100 points on this quiz. It’s mathematically impossible. Just like it’s almost physically impossible to live much longer with the type of lifestyle you have, if you scored in this range. If you really scored between 91 and 99, this book could literally save your life.